How to Help Fibro/Chronic Pain Friends

woman sitting by lake
Photo by Leah Kelley on

Don’t ask: Do.

Don’t apologize for what you’re not doing or what you meant to do; it just makes it worse for the patient. Either do it or don’t: keep your feelings of guilt to yourself. Feeling guilty? Send a just because e-card, treat, heart emoji, etc.

Do ask, “How are you doing? I know what is happening with your treatment, but how are you holding up?”; What night is better for me to bring you a healthy dinner, Monday or Wednesday; Do you need a meal train; can I give you a ride to the doctor; how about I come over to keep you company for an hour or join you to binge your latest HBO show; can I take your kid(s) out for a few hours?

Do randomly show up on his/her doorstep with loads of supplements, or healthy food, or a plant, and most importantly, compassion and empathy—grocery bags full of it are most needed.

If you haven’t been in touch with a “friend” in a long time even though you know she’s suffering, don’t randomly text to ask if she knows about a certain breed of cat you’re adopting when you know she’s an animal rescue lover. Even through her fibro fog your friend remembers that you told her you gave up your tabby to a kill shelter, “felt bad” about it, meant to go check on her but didn’t… MRROW! “Bye, Felicia!”

Love, empathy, checking in, doing, offering, being each others’ village. You’ll be surprised how much your friend also has to give even with life kicking her neurological arse…especially this friend!

{Fibro fog = typos. If you find one I’ll bring you a slice of flourless chocolate cake from La Boulangerie.}

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