OUCH, It’s Cold Outside

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Photo by Digital Buggu on Pexels.com

{Find a typo, get a scarf.}

I stepped outside on this unusually cold for New Orleans morning to warm up the car for my daughters and immediately my neck and shoulders began to ache! I’ve been curious how the cold weather would affect my pain levels as this is my first fall/winter with an official fibro diagnosis. While 3/4 of the year in the Crescent City I sweat like a hot mama, cold is known to increase fibro pain. Would wearing my favorite scarf help?

Last week a bumpy morning car ride on our city’s tree root cracked streets in the passenger seat caused a full day of neck pain. While my schedule didn’t permit it then, today I’ll go back to sleep. I hope to hit the reset button so I can try to prep dinner before I take Junebug to gymnastics this afternoon, then give Rosebud a bath before Husband gets home from a late meeting. Gymnastics is a priority, less so dinner/bath. I have childcare help some afternoons, but it seems silly to do so on gymnastics Wednesdays as Husband is usually home soon after us. We’re still figuring out what kind and how much household and childcare help works for us due to the unpredictability of my pain. What we truly desire is an invisible robot fairy who reads my mind and pops in and out as needed.

My neck and shoulders are my most painful points at present. Earlier this year it was my right wrist, which I fractured in elementary school. Wrists are not a fibro pain point, but pain in the brain is a “meanie,” as Rosebud would say. I don’t know why the pain has shifted to my neck, but pain so close to the brain brings on a disgusting sensation that includes nausea and despair. I use CBD cream on my neck most days and see my myofascial release therapist (MFR) weekly. I had been been going to Whole Foods for clothed, upper body massages, but now that I’ve restarted MFR, I realize that those massages weren’t hitting the spot. My MFR practitioner is the human version of my “bed of nails” pillow.

When pain comes on suddenly, it’s shocking. Living with fibro is fucking hard, and inconsistent. I never know what, if any, pain the day will bring. I keep a compounded pain cream in my purse, but not OTC pain meds as they’re a joke when it comes to fibro. The rest of my meds/CBD capsules aren’t safe for me to take while out of the house unless Husband is driving me or I’m extra-caffeinated.

I might go a week or more without a painful day, and it’s so lovely to forget the pain. Days like today fuel a cornucopia of emotions. I hurt, I’m sad, I hate pain in the brain and fibro, yet I love raising my daughters with Husband. I love our life together. I refuse to let my diagnosis hold back my daughters or Husband. Mountains to climb; words to write and publish; Hanukkah parties to host; and a bunch of goals, dreams, and life to live. I watched my mom LIVE as she was dying of breast cancer. I’m inspired by her every day as I battle my own health nightmare. Fibro gets me down, but I won’t let it or the cold, pain, fatigue, meds hangovers, stress, frustrations, or fear stop me. At least, not most days. Back to bed I go in hopes of a do-over…

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